


Odd Edges

by Yenneffer



Series: crack-van'd [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Clone Wars era, Friendship, Gen, Gen Fic, Jedi hierarchy, POV Second Person, POV Third Person, PTSD, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-06
Updated: 2013-02-06
Packaged: 2017-11-28 10:02:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/673161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yenneffer/pseuds/Yenneffer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anakin Skywalker and Obi-wan Kenobi are equals now. That is what he tells himself. What he tries to believe. And that is, quite frankly, the truth. But truth always has more than one edge to it. This is his.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Odd Edges

**Author's Note:**

> Timeframe: Clone Wars era, though does not have anything in common with TCW tv series. I suppose it’d happen a few months before Revenge of the Sith.

They are friends now. Equals.

***

Both soldiers _(commanders; you are addressed as General as well, now)_ in the service to the Republic. Both on the same forsaken world, surrounded by clone troopers, and soaked wet by tropical rains and mud.

So why is your master ( _Obi-wan, you try the idea of the sound in your mind_ ) currently shut down in the commanding centre and in session with the Council?

( _Jedi don’t sneer,_

_don’t feel,_

_don’t anything;_

_Jedi don’t_ fear)

You are equals because you’ve saved his life countless times, and he thanked you each time, dipping his head, a little.

You are equals because now, he smiles at you, instead of constantly frowning.

***

The medical tent is a quivering, pulsating throb in the Force, and you’re curious.

This is Death.

It is the Force, as well, of course

( _you quickly add,_

_quickly enough to_

_banish the coming_

_scolding_ )

But there _is_ death. You can feel it in the stifled pain, long screams and the blank void appearing in the place of life.

You can feel it in your dreams, too.

You’ve seen it quick and slow, instantaneous and coming in deep gasps of _now, please_. And you remember it, as vivid as the Force in your veins

( _the feeling for now is not_

_muted_

_but satisfied and unleashed,_

_and you know- at this moment-_

_that you have it_

_that it’s yours_ )

You are eerily curious to enter the med tent, but then you remember the Council session taking place in another tent.

You storm away, eyes a hard glass of tamed- _for now_ \- fury.

***

“So what did they want?” Anakin bit the words out, as much the mask for his uneasiness as the face stilled in the emotionless parody of Jedi’s serenity.

Obi-wan was still, too, before he addressed the other Knight, “The Council suspects there’s an enemy movement in the swamps, east from here. The Masters want us to investigate it before we leave the system.”

“Another set of orders, then.”

“Anakin,” a pause, describing their conversations as aptly as any words could. “What else were you expecting?”

“Nothing. I’ve learnt to expect nothing.”

And he doesn’t; yet, he still manages to be disappointed for getting even less.

***

The two men are equals; in a way that both are Knights and both fight for the same cause, on the same side. Also because they both think so; one in acceptance and quiet pride, gracefully and naturally, the other with desperate push and need, desiring greatly to finally believe it.

***

“Why wasn’t I present?”

It’s evening and the camp is quieting down, the buzzing activity of the day replaced with the watchful quality of the night.

( _it is restless and_

_it is tireless limbs,_

_teeth clenched to_

_kill all the sound-to_

_keep it in your mind_ )

You die during sleep, not sure if the day will bring you back ( _or if it should_ ), but you refuse to tell him, even though he shares your tent.

You coax your lips into bleeding in refusal to tell, show him anything of the void growing in you

( _and that void, you smile,_

_it is death, not the Force,_

_and you have a secret now:_

_the Jedi lie to themselves,_

_clueless,_

_unaware of the end approaching_ )

You have pride.

“You needed some rest, and it was only the most rudimentary briefing.”

***

Anakin smiles fiendishly when the blue light of his weapon shines on the corpses.

These were no battle-droid units occupying the swamp area of Videh.

They were living, breathing, and they died for choosing the other side.

Obviously the wrong one.

This was... different. Intoxicatingly so.

You breathe in power when you exhale.

Obi-wan approaches you, looking over your bloodied face and torn tunics, checking for injuries, and is he blind?

Can’t he see that you were so clearly victorious?

Army is full of hierarchy and orders, but battlefield is different. There are no ranks, no authority strong enough to protect you.

There was power in it.

There was the Force, of course.

( _and you have them both, anyway_ )

And all this enables you to look at your former master and choose not to remember any differences, doubts, titles.

You choose to be equal.

***

It takes Anakin long to start calling his master by name. He finds it unsettling because he used to complain about Obi-wan long before his master even thought of claiming him ready for the trials; then there was no nonsense of hesitating to use the name.

And for all Anakin’s dislike for authority, when he was finally _free_ , the endearment _master_ stayed

( _it’s coiling in his_

_insides,_

_the feeling of being_

_under and dependent,_

_of having to look down_

_and agree_ )

***

They are equals now, even though Anakin is stronger and faster and more dangerous

-at war, that turns out to be a good thing, he smugly thinks-

They are equals until they return to Coruscant and the Council chooses to appoint Obi-wan its member, a Master.

( _and the night is_

_death again,_

_and that void between the_

_two friends grows,_

_able to feed itself_ )

The End

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to thank chameleon_irony for reccing that fic (<http://crack-van.livejournal.com/4504611.html>). It was terribly kind of you to stroke my ego like that :)


End file.
